smile

Smile thats all I have to say is smile
When things seem like that there not going your way just smile
Put everything in his hands
He will take care of it
Don't dwell on whats going wrong
Don't worry about what you don't have right now
He has a plan for you and it might just be that he wants you to rest for a bit

Juliet

Your the best daughter anyone could ever ask for
I know some people said ugly things cause you weren't dancing the day of the wedding and because I allowed you to sit with me and drink out of my glass
But who cares......
I love how we can sit and talk about everything, well not everything but about boys and who you like
I want you to go to the school with that boy you like cause he likes you too.
If only your dad would let you
never know what he will say later

I also like how you can tell me when something is bothering you
don't worry the invitation will be sent to her and I really hope she shows up
and if she don't we will understand cause is her choice

However I love you and thats all that matters, LOVE YOU JULIET!

don't want to remember anymore

I don't want to think about you
today as I was driving to work a song come on and it made me remember so much
I tried to keep my tears in and not think
but it was so hard its like your dead, sad to say but true
I want to just delete your pictures and I can't
people tell me WTF Rosa its not like she was blood or like she even cared about you....
but in my heart it doesn't matter cause to me you were blood
I MISS YOU! you were my best friend/you were like that sister that I always wanted
only GOD knows why he put us together and I am very thankful for that.
I loved how we could do things together sure it wasn't all the times but it was fun
movies, tanning, JAX, drinking and enjoying life with the kids!
I know you have moved on and that's good
I wish you the best and don't worry soon you will have all 4 boys again:)
everyone tells me don't write on my blog cause all you do is sit with your sister, read it and talk shit
I don't talk to my mom, dad, brother, and sister
I try god knows I try but I just can't
She tells me Rosa mom and dad are looking for you answer there phone calls and I can't
inside I feel like I can't be me
I just want to forget and never look back
I want someone to hit me on my head so hard so I can forget and not remember you
I want my Juliet to forget too
It kills me when she gets all happy when you write to her and when you don't shes sad.
It kills me when my Andrew asks me mom when is my Tia coming over?
and I have to tell him never your tio fucked up for good this time
I just don't want to remember anymore
but wait...... I can't say that those were the best times
never mind put that bat down you can't erase my life
THANK YOU GOD REALLY....

Mom I want to hurt myself

The hardest words I had to hear you say to me was, "mom I want to hurt myself"
I couldn't believe my eyes and ears when I saw you standing in front of me in tears
I don't know how to make you feel better
All I can do is just make you work-out
I wish I could control your weight but I can't
I wish I could tell you that she will be there for your 15 but I can't
I wish I could say you will see her again but I can't
I know y'all made promises but they got broken for now
I know you had your heart set on him to be there too with you but his not
I never thought you would get your heart broken at such an young age but you did
It's just part of life and I always said, no one ever said life was fair....
I know that you are hurting and your good at hiding your feelings
I wish I could eras all those memories but I can't
One day you will forget that one person you called sister and one day you will forget about your first LOVE....
I will keep your life so busy so you won't think, it will get better once you learn to let go and you will learn to move on....

carol

If the only reason I printed our conversation to the lawyer before is because you said I could tell my brother about using Grant.
I didn't do that out of hate but because I didn't want him to fuck up anything anymore than what he did.
You need to read my blog about Don't Judge anyone until you walk in there shoes.....
At the Begin it might sound like its wrong but that's just me telling my story and at the end it will tell you how I am talking to my brother and telling him, theres his answer....
I know why you left the kids behind trust me at 1st I didn't understand why and then it just got clear to me.
I never heard you cry at my house.
I asked you once when we were drunk at your apartment and Lalo and I were fighting. We were sitting on your stairs and I asked you, why did you come back? I never wanted you to come back I wished and prayed that you never showed up at the air port. But you did at that time I wasn't sure why you really left cause you didn't tell us and Jr never said anything. all we knew was that he had fucked up. You could read all my blogs and you will see that I want you to stick to your plan, I know one day you will come back and take the kids away. I always tell Lil. Daniel when I see him crying for you. I hug all of them and make sure that they know you will be back. I don't and I will never talk bad about you to your kids. If I'm helping my brother with the kids taking them to the doctors and enrolling them in school is because I want too. I don't like to be told what I should be doing I like to do things cause I want to.
I don't know why you hate me so much, I never did anything wrong at least I don't thing so and if I did just tell me.
Do you really think I sit here and care that your having fun I'm glad that you are.
My cousins ask about you all the time and all I say is girl what ever she is doing is having fun and working. I don't think that is a bad thing cause you are. I also tell them how you blog about how much you miss your kids. But I'm sure like always people only say what they want to say. I tell everyone the same thing she is going to come back for the kids and we are probably never going to see them again.
Don't always believe what you hear on less you have that person or persons in front of you....

Otis and charles days!

Well this week my nephews have been staying with me,
This week I had to take Otis the youngest to the doctor.
He got 5 shots but took it like a champ, he kept asking me Tia Rosa is it going to hurt?
We kept telling him just don't look at the shot and you will be fine. My oldest son Andrew kept telling him just don't think it will hurt you and it won't... lol...
Kids are so funny this days.
Charles got 4 shots and he also took it like a champ.
Next week kids go to the dentist and I have to finish enrolling Otis in school. All we needed was he's shots. He is so excited about school.
Man just two more weeks and they all go to school, I can't wait!
Charles and Otis always use to fight but now after there day to the doctor together they have been getting along very well. they even sleep in the same bed now, wow I'm am so glad that they are bonding:) we will see how they will do the 1st day of school I really wish I could take both of them:( but I will only be taking my boy Charles and my brother will take my nephew Otis.

Don't Judge till you walk in there Shoes

Someone very old told me today, "Don't Judge till You Walked in there Shoes."
Very true I said
So here it goes Brother I am very sorry cause I don't know what your going through and your right in so many ways.
We as a mother should take responsibility and as you as a father.
I love you both so I can't be on your side or hers
I don't know what people think or what goes through there mind
You ask me if I would had left my kids?
My answer is no but she is not me.
I have been in a abusive relationship were I have had busted lips, black eyes, kicked in my back/stomach, thrown around and slapped around.
I was always asked why did you stay with him? My answer was I don't know, I knew I was worth more but I had no one to tell. I needed help to get out or maybe I just loved him so much that I thought things would change.
You ask if I ever tried to leave? Yes I did and I would come back maybe cause I was weak
You ask did I have kids? Yes I did at the time
You ask did I take them? Yes I did cause there was no way I would leave them there with him
You ask why not? Because I always felt that he would not take care of them
You ask why it is there dad? Yes but he has never been a father were he would show them love you

So there Brother that's the reason why she left them with you, you have been a loving father and she knew you would be there for them. So don't question her why, at the time it felt like the right thing to do. I love you both so please take care. This goes to everyone, Don't Judge Till you Walk in There Shoes.

my Juliet is sad

its been a while but only cause I have been moving
yes its true we moved out of that house where so much has happened
My juliet is going through a really hard time
she thinks that having curves are a bad thing
she don't want to go to school
shes always sad at home
she never comes out of the room
I don't know how to get her to understand that its ok if she don't look like a stick
this really sucks cause shes not her self
I don't want her to be depressed anymore
I'm scared to think that it could get worst
I pray that she will stop thinking about it but thats all she talks about now

S.O.A

no one knows

today i woke up to bad news
i was told this 14 year old had shot her self in the heart
Why I ask?
No one knows
All they can say is that she was a very happy kid...
So I have to say even if your baby is the happiest kid don't forget to sit with your kids and talk to them.
Always ask, baby are you ok?
Let them know they can always tell you anything.
I feel really bad for this family cause they have no answer of why she did this
and they won't have her around with them
All I hear is that she was always very happy, lol, actting silly, and very loving.
But that will never answer her moms question of why she did what she did.
It is very sad that a very young ladie life ended before it could even start

Happy 4th

I have to say it was nice to see the kids this 4th and it felt good when they run up to me. The first thing baby Daniel asked was tia rosa will you please come to my party and my answer was as long as you tell me when it will be. I don't think I ever missed any of his birthdays and I don't plan to miss one now.

It sucked that my mom can't talk to me yet and I know she thought I was not going to show up. But you know what I didn't do anything wrong so I went to my sister's. My brother in the other hand recieved me with a hug and said to me, Rosa I'm sorry. I was try to be the bigger person so I said hi to her and she just ignored me. But oh well what can I do? I will keep praying that one day we can talk again mom and I love you!

Juliet @ tumbling class

Juliet and her boyfriend Vinny @ Soundbox Studio

She said this her man Vinny

She just wanted to be next to him:(

Juliet and Brian from Mos Wanted Crew!!!!

She was sooooo happy!

He told her, "Girl put your leg up here" LOL

MOM

I wanted to call you again cause she was in the hospital
but I couldn't go through another hang up again
you and him will never understand that just because I spoke or put my
two cent out there
you will never understand that he needs to grow up on hes own
you need to stop treating him like a baby
I know I get it and I understand you when you say things like
you should get along
you should help each other out
you should be there for each other
yall our only three
But what you don't understand that I have been helping
but its never good for you
I don't like to be that person that would throw everything in your face about how much I have helped
I have bought food every week since she left for 6 weeks
gave him gas money
went and drove to his house when I could to take care of the kids
drove him without asking him to pay me back and I'm not working
helped him pay his laywer
payed his phone and insurance
I mean I just don't get it.....
I have done so much just because his my brother and I love him but for what????
So you can get mad one night at someone and take it out on me?
So you can act all crazy in my house in front of all the kids?
So you can throw shit at me like glass in front of my kids?
So you can act like you fanted in front of all the kids?
So you can slap me just because I asked why the fuck are you screaming at me?
You think that what you did to me didn't hurt me?
You thought that her kids didn't see what happened and would tell her the truth?
You and he thought that you can go back and lie on me?
I never once hit you and I would never do that.....
How can you and my brother ask her not to ever talk to me????
Its because of yall I have changed its because of yall I became what I hated the most
I became this person that never wanted anyone around and never wanted to smile.
I lost myself in this one person you wanted me to be
You would sit there and talk shit about my dad how he was going to be old and alone
You would tell me I would be the same but I'm not....
Before yall ever came around me cause yall were never around for me
I always had ppl around me and always had a smile on my face.
Let me ask you a question?
Did I do this to him? NO
He did it to hes self......
He thought it was ok to hit his wife
You think I wanted for this to happened to them? HELL FUCK NO
But he never listened....
Everything I did was to help the kids but now I can't even see them....
So here it goes, I hope your ok mom and the kids. My brother you just need to move on and I hope you learned your lesson. I hope you never put your hands on another women I hope you never hurt another women like you did her.
I lost a someone its like shes dead cause I will never see her again and I will always hear Juliet say things like
we had plans mom, we were going to move to New York and live together
she was going to take me to my first club
she will sit there and cry. i will ask why and she will say its nothing mom
you say its our lost but really its not
Everyone in this world makes there own choice no one can make it for you

Just a reminder to all my BFF!

Loving Life!

Being Me Again and Loving It!

Miles - love this song

We made it out, and all the other people are asking how
This doesn't even sound like truth to grow from a bruise
But one day we will realize how hard it was, how hard we tried
And how our hearts made it out alive

Kiss me on my shoulder, and tell me it's not over
I promise to always come home to you
Remind me that I'm older to be brave, smart, sweet, and bolder
And don't give up on what we're trying to do
Don't count the miles, count the "I love you"s

And these are words I wished you said
But that's not how it went
'Cause you gave up on us in the end
And I won't make it alone, I need something to hold

ARMS - love this song I can hear it over & over

i never thought that you would be the one to hold my heart
but you came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start

you put your arms around me
and i believe that it's easier for you to let me go
you put your arms me and i'm home

how many times will let you me change my mind and turn around?
i can't decide if i'll let you save my life or if i'll drown

i hope that you see right through my walls
i hope that you catch me cause i'm already falling
i'll never let a love get so close
you put your arms around me and i'm home

the world is coming down on me and i can't find a reason to be loved
i never wanna leave you but i can't make you bleed if i'm alone

you put your arms around me
and i believe that it's easier for you to let me go

i hope that you see right through my walls
i hope that you catch me cause i'm already falling
i'll never let a love get so close
you put your arms around me and i'm home

i try my best to never let you in to see the truth
and i've never opened up
i've never truly loved til...

you put your arms around me
and i believe that it's easier for you to let me go

i hope that you see right through my walls
i hope that you catch me, cause i'm already falling
i'll never let a love get so close
you put your arms around me and i'm home

you put your arms around me and i'm home.♥

Being ME!

I haven't felt this happy in a long time
I have not been myself in a long time
I have to say it has been cause I blocked DRAMA out
I spoke my mind 2 weeks ago and it felt good
you can't make someone stay with you
my mom will probably never come see me or brother
but I know at the end they will understand
I have a duaghter and I would hate for her to go back to that bullshit if she left
no one understands me about how I feel about it
they say to me
your wrong
don't you want the kids to have mom and dad around
my answer is yes I do want mom and dad around but not like that
and maybe I'm wrong cause I agree on her leaving but its ok she is ok and not dead
His lawyer said to me when I gave her all the e-mails
rosa you really are taking a risk cause it seems you love her like your own sister
my answer was
yes but i'm not doing anything wrong and she will understand
her question was do you really want me to help him get this of his record?
my answer
NO, he needs to stay away from her and she came to the right person to help her, her sister
I know you didn't come to us cause he would found you right away
I don't think yall should even talk but I know that yall are doing it so the kids can see yall our ok on the phone
ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS KEEP LOOKING FOWARD AND NOT BACK
DON'T LET HIM TRY TO BRIAN WASH YOU
TAKE CARE
you may not care about us but here in the Lalo, Juliet and Rosa house we still love and care about you a lot

just saying

I don't know why ppl think i can read minds
if you want me to do something for you, just ask
i hate how ppl always beleive what they hear
if you didn't hear it from me its not true
i am the type of person that speaks her mind
and ppl always take it like i'm talking shit
so take it the way you want
i don't give a FUCK
if you don't like how i live
stop coming to see me
if you don't like what i say
don't start DRAMA at my house
FUCK i always try to do the right thing
i have always been told Rosa you need to learn how to say NO
i'm always the one who folds my arms and make the first move
i may act like i am strong but deep down inside i am not

keep your eyes open

don't let them cover your eyes that's what they want
stick to your plan
don't believe every word he says
he would seat there and ask me you talk to her
she would not want to go visit him cause she was tired of listening to him
he would say things like
I know you know shes out at bars
once he told me how you said you were at work but then he called your job and they told him you were gone for the day
don't let him lie to you
he would tell me how you had a pic of a rose that you got from work
stalker is something i don't do for anyone not even me

carol

if you ever read my blogg or facebook, know that what ever you did was not wrong
no one should ever judge you
I know that the last past 3 weeks i have been mad at you and hurt
but I want to say I'm Sorry
I lost view of why you left but something happened this weekend that made me remember why you left and I have to say I was not mad anymore
I hope you are having fun because you are single but remember your kids miss you alot
they know your coming back for them
stick to your plan.
I know you don't want no part of us for what happened between you and jr but please remember that we had no part of what jr did.

talk

I have to say I was the girl that everyone had something to say about,
I had friends and family say:
Man Rosa needs to slow down
Did you hear Rosa left with her boyfriend?
Rosa parents moved her away cause shes having a baby @ 14 years old
She is having a baby...lol..
She is always out at parties
She is doing all kind of DRUGS...LOL....
She's sleeping with everyone...lol....

Its funny how I just sat there and never said anything
maybe cause I didn't care and it didn't bother me
Maybe cause it wasn't true.... Who knows I was so young
I can tell you what was true
I did do drugs but not all and not till I was 18 years old
I did leave with my husband but not cause I was going to have a baby
I did party alot
I was not having a baby at 14 or 17 years old
My parents did move me to Eagle Pass cause I wanted to move & have my 15 in Mexico
I can say I can count how many guys I slept with in ONE HAND
It's just funny how people can make up so many stories without knowing what was really going on
All I ever heard was, "I don't want you to hang out with ROSA shes a bad girl!"
But I have to say I have no regrets I don't have to say I wish I knew what would had happen if I did that.
However I did make good and bad choices but I never wanted to make a choice that I would have to look back at and said man why did I do that....

There will be good and bad times

Life can get good as well as bad
There will be good and bad friends
Some friends will stay and some will go
Unlike family will always stay
Family is like a good book you can't let go, you can always come back to it
You have thoes who will get under your skin but always love them

In life you will learn that no matter who you think you can trust you really can't
I learned that no matter how of a close friend you have they will stop talking to you
That person will never understand how you feel or why you did it
Just know that no matter what happens in life you will be there praying that things get better
I always say that no matter how much I hate or dislike someone, I will never wish them bad only good