It was fun to see my brother and my Carol come over.
I have to say that we had a good weekend, spent time with my sister, brother and my Carol.
On Sunday it didn't end so well, sometimes men don't know when to stop drinking or when its time to go home. Not sure where this relationship is going we have been together for 18 years this July, and it feels like its just getting worst. I keep telling myself that we need a brake but I really don't want my kids to grow up without the two of us.
I didn't take any medication last night so I was in soooooo much pain today all I could do is just sit there. It hurts just to type or even move around but I can't depend on him to get things done around the house. It's like he walks around mad all the time, talking shit to me or the kids. Hes so unhappy at least that's what I think, He is so different around my family it's almost like he's someone else. I'm sure people think it's me but really its not, before everyone came over today we were still mad about last nigh and I was/still in so much pain.
No one really understands me they think I just talk shit to him cause I want to fight or be mad all the times. However its not that way.
I wish he knew what he wanted because I know he wants out.
His questions are the same as mine;
How will I do it alone with my kids?
Where would we go?
We would loose everything we worked so hard for
Would we ever get along for the kids?
Would he come around to see the kids?
Will it be easy to see him with someone else?
Will I want to be with someone else?
If I find someone will my kids like him?
Would he like my kids?
What about if he has someone would she see my kids good?
Would he push my kids away for another girl?
All of these questions go through my head and I'm sure they run through his mind too.
What do I do? I still love him.....3
