Sunday, July 8, 2012

no one knows

today i woke up to bad news
i was told this 14 year old had shot her self in the heart
Why I ask?
No one knows
All they can say is that she was a very happy kid...
So I have to say even if your baby is the happiest kid don't forget to sit with your kids and talk to them.
Always ask, baby are you ok?
Let them know they can always tell you anything.
I feel really bad for this family cause they have no answer of why she did this
and they won't have her around with them
All I hear is that she was always very happy, lol, actting silly, and very loving.
But that will never answer her moms question of why she did what she did.
It is very sad that a very young ladie life ended before it could even start

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Happy 4th



I have to say it was nice to see the kids this 4th and it felt good when they run up to me. The first thing baby Daniel asked was tia rosa will you please come to my party and my answer was as long as you tell me when it will be. I don't think I ever missed any of his birthdays and I don't plan to miss one now.
It sucked that my mom can't talk to me yet and I know she thought I was not going to show up. But you know what I didn't do anything wrong so I went to my sister's. My brother in the other hand recieved me with a hug and said to me, Rosa I'm sorry. I was try to be the bigger person so I said hi to her and she just ignored me. But oh well what can I do? I will keep praying that one day we can talk again mom and I love you!





Sunday, July 1, 2012

MOM

I wanted to call you again cause she was in the hospital
but I couldn't go through another hang up again
you and him will never understand that just because I spoke or put my
two cent out there
you will never understand that he needs to grow up on hes own
you need to stop treating him like a baby
I know I get it and I understand you when you say things like
you should get along
you should help each other out
you should be there for each other
yall our only three
But what you don't understand that I have been helping
but its never good for you
I don't like to be that person that would throw everything in your face about how much I have helped
I have bought food every week since she left for 6 weeks
gave him gas money
went and drove to his house when I could to take care of the kids
drove him without asking him to pay me back and I'm not working
helped him pay his laywer
payed his phone and insurance
I mean I just don't get it.....
I have done so much just because his my brother and I love him but for what????
So you can get mad one night at someone and take it out on me?
So you can act all crazy in my house in front of all the kids?
So you can throw shit at me like glass in front of my kids?
So you can act like you fanted in front of all the kids?
So you can slap me just because I asked why the fuck are you screaming at me?
You think that what you did to me didn't hurt me?
You thought that her kids didn't see what happened and would tell her the truth?
You and he thought that you can go back and lie on me?
I never once hit you and I would never do that.....
How can you and my brother ask her not to ever talk to me????
Its because of yall I have changed its because of yall I became what I hated the most
I became this person that never wanted anyone around and never wanted to smile.
I lost myself in this one person you wanted me to be
You would sit there and talk shit about my dad how he was going to be old and alone
You would tell me I would be the same but I'm not....
Before yall ever came around me cause yall were never around for me
I always had ppl around me and always had a smile on my face.
Let me ask you a question?
Did I do this to him? NO
He did it to hes self......
He thought it was ok to hit his wife
You think I wanted for this to happened to them? HELL FUCK NO
But he never listened....
Everything I did was to help the kids but now I can't even see them....
So here it goes, I hope your ok mom and the kids. My brother you just need to move on and I hope you learned your lesson. I hope you never put your hands on another women I hope you never hurt another women like you did her.
I lost a someone its like shes dead cause I will never see her again and I will always hear Juliet say things like
we had plans mom, we were going to move to New York and live together
she was going to take me to my first club
she will sit there and cry. i will ask why and she will say its nothing mom
you say its our lost but really its not
Everyone in this world makes there own choice no one can make it for you